\ Dharmatalks ~ Delivering Fulfillment ~


Revealing Your True Self
and Your Readiness to Transform the Abusive Personality

Accepting What's Done -  Discovering self-forgiveness and achieving transformation through realizing the deceptively protective nature of your abusive personality as a sign of very high and righteous self-esteem and appreciation for the cleverness and reality of your protected virtue.

A Beginning - Understanding the Nature of the Abusive Personality

The science of Tonglen is the ancient art of delivering salvation for sinners - that of turning sin into blessing, and its work begins with an understanding the nature of the abusive personality.

The Abusive Personality must be recognized as innocent, if not even something clever and cute, in order to transform it. No matter how much crime or harm it has done, it is still the growth of increasing anger and frustration that could have been recognized at the time of innocence but wasn't, and in order for forgiveness and repentance to really have effect, it must be recognized that there is and must be salvation and forgiveness for sinners, regardless of the extent of the damage they've caused.


So the problem becomes getting you, the unforgiving and unrepentant victim to learn this principle so that you can let go of your hatred, hurt and desire for violent revenge. Punishing the Abusive Personality is not the right way because that only makes it more abusive. Transforming it with mercy, compassion, 
confidence and understanding through recognizing its function of protection and defense of the underlying protected virtues will transform the ego's opinion of itself and release its hold on reality. Ego is the prisoner and imprisoner of reality. It is the facade, an attempted representation, an artificial replication of the truth and true being it tries to conceal.  It holds all the opinions. It is also the giveaway clue.

The Abusive Personality and its evolutionary reasons for teaching fear

From their love and concern for their children, defensive parents teach their children what to be afraid of and how to defend agaist it. So your Abusive Personality is taken on as a form of self-protection. It is the symptom of, result of and defense against personally suffered abuse or neglect, concealed or overt, in childhood. It is also the clue that you have not lost sight of your Truth and your Pearl, which is your knowledge of the truth that underneath your fight and pretense resides a treasurable being of inestimable value. Abuse is aggressive defensiveness. We turn it on ourselves because we are unable to point it where it really belongs. The more defensive you are, the more you value yourself. The more self-destructive you are, the more angry you are at yourself for not being able to defend yourself from the abuse that you hated but could do
notthing about. How can you correct or defend against someone from whom you want or need something, or against whom your are defenseless?

The Abusive Personality as an Ogre of Fear, Shame and Protection

But it's your judgments around your self abuse that are keeping you from seeing what it is you are really doing and remembering why you are doing it. You feel and have been told that it's somehow wrong because others are hurt by it and because of that incorrect indoctrination, will not give yourself credit for your own cleverness and inventiveness in the matter of defense and hiding. So not only does your Abusive Personality hide, defend and protect your inestimable and well hidden truth, it also hides and protects itself behind your acquired acts and senses of shame, fear and guilt.

Confession, Repentance, Redemption and Forgiveness

Reality Therapy is Appreciating What You're Really Doing.

For the redemption of your soul you have to forgive your self , and you have to appreciate it for it to thrive and develop. For your self or ego is only doing its job of protecting your soul. Transforming it from an enemy to a friend is simply a matter of adequate appreciation, recognizing it for what it is - so use some self-recognition and some self congratulation. Congratulatuions! You've made it. You're OK and you've done a very good job.

Confession of sins (sometimes referred to as working on "issues") allows you to bring yourself out of hiding, which is the necessary first step towards releasing guilt through self-understanding and then self-forgiveness. Without your self you would not have reached to point where your soul could find expression. So the self is the tool and the vehicle of survival, learning and expression - and eventually becomes the servant of the soul. The soul in its wisdom creates the self and serves the self for a while and then the self serves the soul. That is the process of redemption - and the process of self- forgiveness. For without the defensive, inquisitive and acquisitive self we would not have reached the point where we could discover and then express our soul. So the self has served its purpose well and for that must eventually be exonerated of all guilt and forgiven.

Compassion is the Investigative Tool of Forgiveness

Compassion is the willingness to understand, and understanding is the foundation of forgiveness. Without compassion there is no willingness (to forgive), without willingness there can be no understanding, and without understanding there is no real  forgiveness, and without forgiveness there is no redemption, and without redemption there is no salvation and that is simply not true and unacceptable. Therefore, there must be redemption because there is salvation (which I am not alone in affirming) whether one believes it or not. And if there is redemption there must be forgiveness, and if there is forgiveness there must be understanding (after all, God understands everything), and if there is understanding, your willingness to receive it depends on the presence or absence of that compassion in your heart.

This compassion is called the Bodhi Chitta in Sanskrit and Tibetan Buddhism, and it is referred to as the unstoppable, even if deeply buried, self-appreciating element of Divine and Holy Wisdom and Truth found in the depths and very bottom of the foundation of each and every beating heart. If it were not there the heart would no longer beat, for the very beat of the heart itself is a manifestation of Divine Compassion, for it is in God's hands alone and is a sign of His continued hope and compassion for the one whose heart beats. The Bodhi Chitta is called the Pearl beyond Price, the Sought After Treasure, the One Thing Worth Having Without Which Life is A Sham, the Transformer of Lives, the Love and the Wisdom, the Alchemist's Stone, the Red Sulfur, The Goal of the Quest, and the list goes on.


(work in progress)
The Science of Appreciation

How Appreciation Works - How Sharing Heals


Increasing Wisdom and Intelligence by Understanding and Appreciating
the Nature and Construction of the Abusive Personality,
because in it lie the keys to the hidden truth and virtue of the individual.

Confession and Repentance
Applications of Radical Reversal in Transformational Therapy
Appreciating your Reality and Healing the Abusive Personality.
Correcting Thoughts of Self from the Abusive Personality.
Seeing Through the Deception of Self-Judgment
Correcting Judgment of Self

DharmaTeaching -
Can it be that simply telling them what's really going on will be sufficient?
Simply showing them what they're really doing?
Revealing their Reality and the Cleverness of their Defensive Selves?
A simple word to the wise?
Can it really be a simple matter of
"Self Forgiveness through Compassionate Correct Interpretation"?
Of deeply exploring and understanding correct self-justification?
Accepting the Illusion as fact?
Reversing the Clues?
Psychic Reading is Soul Talk? Soul Forgives and Explains?
Is the Shadow really the Soul objecting to repression
while the ego is insisting on being right and mistakenly misinterpreting the signs?
To Be Well Fast, Stop Lying!

"If one can actually revert to the truth, then a great deal of one's suffering can be erased - because a great deal of one's suffering is based on sheer lies."- R. D. Laing

"Have we become so adept at lying, that we've forgotten that we are, in fact, lying?"