Ali, my wise and beloved friend.. I love the new piece on cancer as unresolved complaint... As a social worker and "trained listener", I concur! I felt many times in my practice as a social worker of the healing power of active listening... Even now that I am no longer practicing per se, I still experience it in my everyday relationships... In fact, thank you for reminding me to be more conscious of its importance... This should be actively and consciously applied in our marriages, relationships with children, friendships, offices, and everywhere else... Active and caring listening as a form of healing... As always, you have provided me with another level of understanding to this important reality...Great stuff...Wassalam, ~ Abdul-Lateef Abdullah ~
THE ATTEMPT TO BE PERFECT
CANCER AS UNEXPRESSED OR UNRESOLVED COMPLAINT
If our Primary Mission as infants is to bring love and healing to our parents, then our primary complaint to God would be that of failure, of being un- or under-appreciated. Yet that is the very problem we're sent to resolve. So we take it on, all the time wondering "what's wrong". So we dedicate ourselves to discovering what's wrong, and first we have to figure out what's wrong with ourselves. And the ultimate healing will reveal finally that there is nothing (further or really) wrong. So the problem then becomes, where did we come up with the idea that there was, and why did we spend so much time working on a problem which, in the final analysis, doesn't really exist?
And it turns out that our parents still believe that there is something wrong and are, by virtue of that belief, a part of and contributing to the problem, rather than the solution. So they too, must do their homework and discover where on earth they came up with the all-consuming idea that there is something wrong, and it will turn out to be again the Primary Mission Theory, that they too were sent to bring love and healing to their parents, and that they too, due to the obstinacy of their parents, came away with the feeling that there was something wrong with themselves, not wanting to, in their loving kindness, or being able to, due to overwhelming influence, attribute something wrong to the parents. So ask them now and they'll still tell you that their childhood was perfectly normal, and what's wrong with you for thinking that it might be otherwise?
And then we arrive at the point of distinction between genuine love and joy and perfect love and joy. By the latter I mean the love and joy that is so perfect that no fault can be seen in it or by it, and by the former I mean the Love and Joy that sees all faults but loves and joys within and in spite of them.
Look at the lives of cancer victims and you will determine that perfection is cancer inducing, because it does not allow for faults. It exists in a totally unforgiving world, because there is nothing wrong and therefore nothing to forgive. Evil will arise where it is not seen. This is because it exists, but not in the form we imagine and therefore reject and fight against. It exists to be known - to be recognized, understood and forgiven, in every form. There is nothing unforgivable, except the unwillingness to be forgiven, to accept forgiveness and reconnect with innocence. And that's only because man dares to pit his will against God's will and create for himself a living hell. Even if he was born into it and insists that it is not just his but "the" reality, when confronted with the opportunity to rethink his options, he obstinately refuses and continues to create mischief all the while believing that he is doing good. Such is the nature of our competitive world that we would far prefer to be right than happy.
(Note: from ACIM- "You may wonder why it is CRUCIAL that you look upon your hatred and realize its full extent." "You are not seriously disturbed by your hostility.")
Hence God's primary complaint to Man is exactly the same as man's primary complaint to God - unappreciated.
This brings one to experiment with and eventually discover the healing power of acknowledgment, appreciation and the need for a reflection, since we rarely discover it on our own, of our ability to acknowledge ourselves and self-appreciate. Imagine yourself totally appreciated. Doesn't it feel like you could live forever in that? Just feel the appreciation and realize the healing power of it. After all, God is also the Grateful and the Shower of Appreciation. Can you not at least appreciate yourself for your capacity to enjoy, feel and thrive in appreciation?
Def: To appreciate: - to increase in value, to decrease our inability to feel ourselves, to increase in the feeling of TrueSelf, physical health, spiritual safety and wellness, self value, personal worth, happiness and value to others, and sense of contributing to the creation of an appreciating (increasing in value) environment.
This theory may apply even more to all diseases in general, since all disease manifests first as a complaint, either heard or unheard. That's why we call it dis-ease. Our ease, our personal or spiritual composure, is being 'dissed' in some way, either felt or recognized. That's why ease is the opposite of and cure for dis-ease. That's why hospitality is the root and basis of hospitalization. Because true hospitality will show genuine appreciation for who you really are. It is the reality of "Namaste". Can you offer, can you accept, this kind of hospitality? It is general and unconditional, whereas hospitalization is severely conditional upon the severity of your dis-ease. Is it life threatening? Do you have money?
Are our complaints being heard? Is not a hospital the 'complaint department' of life?
Is not the doctor's office the entrance to the hospital? Can he in his wisdom provide the hospitality necessary to find, field, harbor and maybe even provide resolution for the genuine complaint and thereby remedy the dis-ease by exemplifying for the patient how to restore his personal or spiritual composure, his "ease"? Why do we not do this? Why do we not harbor complaints? Do we ourselves feel under attack? Do we feel ourselves so unable to offer resolution that we will not allow that which we do not understand or are extremely uncomfortable with to arise?
[Do we feel ourselves so dis-eased that we need money so badly that we will sell our souls to the devil and sell the devil's medicine to our patients which only increases the stress and the feeling of dis-ease? (Then are we the real drug pushers. We are a drug pushing nation, and we insist on selling our experimental and inferior grade products to the poorer, more 'needy' nations at an even greater price.) ]
A genuine Hakim sees Divine Wisdom in everything, and through understanding the Divine Wisdom provides resolution to the complaint and relief for the dis-ease of the patient. Through seeing the ultimate purpose of everything, she can explain the true nature of the perceived injustices that cause complaint and eventually disease, and provide rectification through knowledge of God's Mercy and Forgiveness.
People don't want to complain, even though they do want to. Even though it's a major pastime, we always complain about our complaining. Why do we always say "I don't want to complain, but…"?
It's because we all know that complaint is rarely if ever received very well, but have we ever asked why that is? I might venture the reply that it is because we feel that it is asking of us more that we can give. We just do not have the answers, and for the most part that brings up our ancient and horrible feeling of helplessness. So we can only at best shrug our shoulders and commiserate (offering consolation, compensation and adjustment) and we do not like that.
We simply do not know what to do, and we can't stand that feeling. So since we'd rather not feel that way, we request politely or demand with punishment that no one complains. This now accepted social 'norm' becomes accepted preemptively. We expect it, so we learn to repress our complaints. And there we have the basis for stoicism, martyrdom, secret silence and victimhood. In a word, cancer.
But that does not make the complaint go away; and indeed, in normal life all things are passing and there is a great deal of our life that does not leave traumatic scars. But many things leave the scars of deep injustice and misunderstanding, which are then repressed and aggravated by the misconception that we, and our complaints, are wrong and do not count because nothing can be done about them anyway. So our lives become meaningless in terms of genuine spiritual accomplishment or personal healing, and meaningful only in terms of perfection in the eyes of others; and such is the difference between the healing which we were sent to do, and pleasing, which we are forced to do. This is why 'bad' things happen to 'good' people, and why terminal diseases such as cancer and tragedies such as Columbine often strike the people who appear to be doing the best job of all of life.
But if we only knew that all we really have to do is listen intelligently instead of rebuff complaint, we would learn something and the healing would take place as a result of the expression and the absence of repression, and not as a result of our response.
But since complaint is considered to be the symptom of something to fix, or a demand for something that we do not feel capable of delivering, we do not want to hear it and so repress it, when, for the most part, hearing it completely is all that is really necessary.
in peace and love
I'm convinced that disease is psychosomatic in origin and that free and educated people will not have any disease. But disease is big business so keeping people in slavery to money is as essential as keeping them in ignorance while calling it science, medicine and education. I'm also convinced that death by disease is the sign of and liberation from hopeless entrapment; even if by all social standards the individual appears to have attained all the freedom and education life has to offer.
If we're not consciously receiving our health, guidance and physical energy from the Highest Divine Source (God) at all times and willing to sacrifice all of our mortal attachments in the quest for that form of spiritual health, then we are not really free, and that means me, too. Therefore, in order for us to attain to and realize the ultimate freedom gift of God the Underappreciated, we must create some form of liberation from the bonds of this existential life, and that form is death. If we cannot do it on our own by willpower alone, we will create and be grateful for some assistance. The body will eventually break down under the stress and weight of its attachments. This is why the creation and existence of spiritual orders is so important. After all, it was taught by the Buddha that three elements are necessary for liberation from the fear of death into the real life - Buddha, Dharma, Sangha - the realized guide, the truth teachings and the community formed around the required practices. And so it is in all spiritual communities.
This brings one to realize that the entire world is just one big spiritual community. Not to mention the 50/50 theory, which is of course the actual reason why there seems to be so much chaos and unrest in the world - the division or seeming dichotomy of peace and war, truth and illusion, conflict and resolution. Even though for every action there is equal and opposite reaction, there is one action for which there is no reaction, and that is the action of no action. Actually that's not true either. The action of no action has the most severe reaction, that of annihilation, and it is through this and maybe even by means of it that the fruit or goal of the action of no action is attained. It is this fruit, the realization and attainment of Reality, in which there is no longer reaction and ultimate freedom - the freedom of the realization that there is, in reality, no conflict to resolve. From that standpoint, all conflicts are resolvable.