BLOCKING THE MEMORY

What's getting blocked during "repression of feelings" is our Memory. 

When feelings arise, it seems as though we're being asked to remember something. 
It could well be that it is not so much the feelings that we are refusing to deal with, for they are definitely there and making their presence known, but more we are refusing association with the memories that come with those feelings. The basic statement is not so much "I don't want to feel", as "I don't want to remember!" 

Feelings could well be simply the symptoms that a memory has been triggered and a moment of opportunity is present to take advantage of that trigger and look at what is occurring. However, the "conscious" mind has it's own agenda, not the least of which is to prevent any such occurrence from happening. 

It's not so much the feelings that are being repressed as it is the Memory. By this I mean the actual Memory function of the mind, not the specific memory of an event, distinction here being by Capital letter. The Memory is being repressed, for fear of the memory. The feelings are not being so much repressed, as suppressed, as in not being allowed or given expression. But the Memory is definitely being repressed, as in trained not to function. 

This may seem like a good thing, a kind of leading to a kind of "selective memory" that we can use to control our inadvertent emotional outbursts or some such, and indeed it may be, but that is not what's at issue here. At issue is the fact that the Memory serves another valuable function that cannot occur if it is trained not to function. And that function is Remembrance. 

By Remembrance I mean the deep stuff upon which we rely for our faith, which is almost hardly ever noticed, but very much there, nevertheless. Our Faith is what keeps us going. It is what makes life worth living. It is the Source of our well being, of our feeling good about things, life in general, and ourselves. As little as this all may happen, it is nevertheless, the result of our faith. 

In this respect, I'm not referring to Faith as belief, i.e. something that we more or less consciously believe to be true or beneficial in some way to ourselves, which is to some degree or another an activity of the mind. But I am referring to a more physical occurrence that seems to give the body an energy, an OK feeling or permission to move forward, or just to move. In its least obvious occurrence, it is the opposite of paralysis, and somewhat akin to a physical confidence that it's OK to move now and that nothing "bad" will happen. In its most obvious occurrence, it is the full-bodied awareness that God is present, watching, protecting, encouraging of growth, exploration, and success that is considered to be Heaven, Nirvana, Fana, Annihilation, the Zone, Bliss, and "Feelin' Great!"

It is my contention that totally Divine Heavenly Awareness, or Bliss, is in reality a function of the Memory, and cannot happen if the Memory is in any way "controlled" or suppressed. That explains why we feel so much better after catharsis, which is no more than being sick, as in vomiting, to be rid of that which is ailing you. 


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