SITTING WITH YOUR DISSATISFACTION
The Fundamental Principle of Healing Ourselves with Mindfulness
It's our bodies that carry and express our dissatisfaction
and we express dissatisfaction with our bodies.
We're hard on them and we're hard with them.
We expect more from them.
It's our frailty that frustrates us.
Even the strongest man is not strong enough.
I'm only satisfied when I'm sitting with my dissatisfaction,
although I spend enough time distracting my self from that.
What is it God said when he had finished creating creation?
"It is Good". He expressed satisfaction.
God is satisfied.
We are not.
We must sit with our dissatisfaction and heal it or live with it.
We must sit with our dissatisfaction until it transforms -
Until we can smile again,
until we can reconnect with our beauty and love.
We cannot jump there - or we can, but it doesn't last.
I wonder why.
Happiness is a cover-up, a temporary respite. A break.
It only hides and does not relieve our dissatisfaction.
It doesn't work as remedial therapy.
It is a goal and not a means.
True happiness is our ability to sit with and transform our dissatisfaction.
If a Genuine, Deep and Permanent Satisfaction with God is our Goal and Eventual Outcome, it might be said then that even a slight dissatisfaction is a primary motivating feeling, the expression of which becomes the job of the emotions. It might even be the cause of emotions, for without dissatisfaction, what need of expression.
If the middle way (meditation and the meditative state) is the still point or the point of perfection, then even the slightest deviation from it (in either direction) is an expression (of dissatisfaction). And the extremes of deviation from the balanced unmoved state manifest in mania and depression. Happiness and sadness? What are they but moderate human expression. We call them emotions and seek relief from their power over us. But for what reason? Because somewhere inside of us we are working out of some sense of dissatisfaction. If satisfaction is perfection and we don't feel it then what we are feeling is dissatisfaction and for the most part running away from it.
Satisfaction is the elimination of dissatisfaction and how do we do that except through transformation? The ability to feel joy and happiness, joyous and happy on an everlasting basis, is predicated upon the removal of dissatisfaction. And the removal of dissatisfaction requires an understanding of the Samyama Process (the three level of knowing) of identification/discovery, contemplation/work, and satisfaction/success.
Dealing With Dissatisfaction Is Our Job. It is the work that we do - whether we like it or not and even when we are running away from it. We are still running away from something we feel we cannot deal with. But we are not really cowards as we might be led to think, and it may be and probably is unperceived by us, but underneath the running, and maybe the whole purpose of it, is the idea of escaping long enough to be able to figure out a solution. Paying conscious attention to this fact is our source of power. It empowers us to empower ourselves.
Even our "happy" emotions are mostly expressions of relief from something else, some other antithetical dissatisfaction.
Our bodies are dissatisfied; therefore we are dissatisfied with our bodies. But our bodies are storehouses of unprocessed, unremembered memories of events. (See "Imports/MindSight") And they are also the means by which the unprocessed becomes processed. They are digestive transformative objects -the means by which transformation occurs. They are transforming - in both senses of the word, active and objective. They are the transformers of everything, including themselves. They transform (themselves) and transform (everything inside and outside of themselves).
Our minds, however, are like separate organisms altogether. They seek to keep everyting the same. We must take our minds off of their projections long enough to allow our bodies to do the work - to catch up with events, to process, to digest, to transform. Sitting with our feeling of dissatisfaction will allow that to happen and it's the only thing that will allow that to happen.
Dissatisfaction - Sit with it or live with it.
So in sitting with our dissatisfaction we dis-cover our basic nature. And looking into our basic nature we rediscover our happiness through eventually feeling and manifesting our own personal beauty and love. And if we cannot, then we must sit with or live with our dissatisfaction. The difference is - living with it is living with it, but sitting with it is giving it the conscious attention it needs in order to express itself and be transformed, and that's our power. Then our dissatisfaction won't have to go around looking for people in whose company it feels comfortable enough to express itself, or victims in whose company it feels safe enough to act itself out.
Only by giving conscious attention to our bodies can our dissatisfaction be felt. And in being felt it transforms - digests, as it were - and that's the feeling we get of it "going away", like every other pain - of digestion, headaches, tummy aches and heart aches. WE ARE the transformative elements, WE ARE the missing elements for the transformation of unhappiness.
My only satisfaction is sitting with my dissatisfaction, for that is the work to be done, the only work worth doing. The transformation of dissatisfaction leaves nothing else.